Men like to pursue an elusive woman like a cake of wet soap - even men who hate baths.

Imagination is like a lofty building reared to meet the sky; whereas fancy is a balloon that soars at the wind's will.

To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.

There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lies happiness.

Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter.

I never saw a purple cow; I never hope to see one; But I can tell you, anyhow, I'd rather see than be one.

The fear of women is the beginning of knowledge.

Old friends, we say, are best, when some sudden disillusionment shakes our faith in a new comrade.

If in the last few years you have not discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.

When the waitress puts the dinner on the table, the old men look at the dinner. The young men look at the waitress.

Without bigots, eccentrics, cranks and heretics the world would not progress.

With a sincere heart and a gifted spirit, William penetrates the souls realm so as to assist those who seek his guidance to move closer to filling their destiny.

The rich don't know when they will die, but the world's poor don't know when they will live

Trouble seems to follow me around, waiting to club me with a tire iron.

If what we are doing isn't enough for you, I need you to tell me now.

Good angels are fallible ... they sin every day and fall from Heaven like flies.

She sticks her tongue out at me and crosses her eyes. Not sure why that made me want to do her in the backseat, but to each his own, I guess.

People around me never say anything. They just seem to want to hear what I have to say. That's why I do all the talking.

We live in a kissy society.

There are no right answers to wrong questions.

From a person standpoint, the old expression of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is somewhat true.