Men who are too good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be.

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit!

Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.

As we speed along this endless road to the destination called who we hope to be, I can't help but whine, 'Are we there yet?'.

I don't believe in email. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up.

Follow your instincts and do not let other people's opinion of you become your opinion of yourself.

It's like the riddle of the Sphinx... why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men?

Balls are to men what purses are to women.

After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breath and reboot.

People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates - hoping to hit the jackpot. But mostly, you just wind up broke or alone in a bar.

I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies. Two seemingly different ideas that might just be perfect together - like chocolate and peanut butter.

The desert became grim, dark and foreboding. A silence of death lay over the land, and it seemed as though the very stars held their breath and twinkled no more.

My mom was a teacher - I have the greatest respect for the profession - we need great teachers - not poor or mediocre ones.

Nature shows me incredible beauty standing just beyond the rat race. It's always there if I'm open enough to see it.

History is a string full of knots, the best you can do is admire it, and maybe tie it up a bit more. History is a hammock for swinging and a game for playing.

You must become an old man in good time if you wish to be an old man long.

I keep eating for fear I will be hungry.

But nonviolence was never for the oppressor; it was for the oppressed.

Fashion is just really standing up in the forefront and it's being even mentioned at the same level as the music. I sort of feel like that's where it gets a little sketchy.

A man has to have goals - for a day, for a lifetime - and that was mine, to have people say, 'There goes Ted Williams, the greatest hitter who ever lived.'

When you set a goal, write it down and then it's like making a promise to yourself.