Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they're married to.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

The mind is the mine of man, wherein he digs out good or evil.

A good teacher does something more than teaching

I had been with the label since I was 21. The label wanted shiny pop but I didn't. I found a little independent and we've got all these great reviews in England and now it has gone gold.

If Iran was a stock, you folks should go out and buy it right now.

We're not all nice, and there are a lot of levels of ambition and niceness.

What we're doing to the planet is inexcusable.

I don't see myself as experimenting in any conscious way, it's perhaps that certain books require different densities of language.

Actors are always the pawns. They're the last ones in the food chain.

The reason that Apple is able to create products like iPad is because we always try to be at the intersection of technology and liberal arts, to be able to get the best of both.

How you experience your present is completely shaped by what you believe your ultimate future to be.