Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Humanism is not a single character. It is a magnificent blend of various emotional and behavioral traits that are unique to the human mind.

You are a victorious ninja because God created you that way!

If your life just falls apart early on, you can put it together again. Its the people who are always on the brink of crisis who dont hit bottom who are in trouble.

I simply scraped together all my experience and put it into the sport.

You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.

Freedom of speech is of no use to a man who has nothing to say and freedom of worship is of no use to a man who has lost his God.

I'm the final clause in a periodic sentence, and that sentence begins a long time ago, in another language, and you to read it from the beginning to get to the end, which is my arrival.

I'm not sure, if I were President Clinton, I wouldn't want to be pardoned for something that I believed that I didn't do.

The most cost-effective move we could make in defense spending would be to shift the focus of CIA operations, giving this agency the directive to make trouble for the Soviet Union.

The best thing that could happen for the president Donald Trump, and the country, is a full and credible investigation.