Men who write love letters don't live in this century.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Happy Endings are an illusion. Real life is filled with brief moments of fleeting happiness, but ultimately every life is a tragedy that ends in death and grief.

Attend to mushrooms and all other things will answer up.

Beer is a gift from the goddesses, a soothing balm given our species to bring joy and comfort in compensation for the curse of self-awareness, the awful realization of our mortality

You can't bank on the outcome.

I didn't get nervous when I ran, but I get nervous watching other people now. I root for anybody with a USA on their chest.

So many things we do as young people are things we have to live with as older people.

It is the way of grace. People do not merit salvation but receive it as a free gift from God on the basis of what Christ's death accomplished.

I can't take much pride in my childhood acting. It feels like it happened in another lifetime, and even then, it felt like a hobby.

I'm usually very attracted to things that I can't define. If something's too clear, it's very often not inspiring to me anymore.

Store up reservoirs of calm and content and draw on them at later moments when the source isn't there, but the need is very great.