Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night change its diapers and give it a bottle but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

It was beautiful in a harsh I'm-going-to-gut-you-like-a-fish kind of way.

What has God called a religion? Renunciation is not religion. To be free of anger-pride-deceit-greed (kashays) is religion

What organized dating sites fail to understand is that the people are far more interesting in what they don't say about themselves.

Courage is the integrating strength that causes one to overcome tragedy.

I think that Ring of Honor is a true alternative in the world of pro wrestling. Some of the best in-ring pure competition in the world you will find in Ring of Honor.

A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.

There is no other way to know good from evil, right from wrong, unless we have His Word dwelling richly in our heart. It's good for us to spend time in His Word.

Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.

My wife said I look like a Latin American dictator. I said, 'That's what I am'

But every difference of opinion is not a difference of principle. We have been called by different names brethren of the same principle. We are all Republicans, we are all Federalists.