Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything.

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it.

Just because I didn't do what you told me, doesn't mean I wasn't listening to you!

No more turkey, but I'd like some more of the bread it ate.

You don't go home and talk about the great tennis courts that you played, but you do talk about the golf courses you played.

Anyone in the humor business isn't thinking clearly if he doesn't surround himself with idea people. Otherwise, you settle for mediocrity - or you burn yourself out.

Dennis to friend: No use crying, Joey. There aren't any grownups around.

The day he moved out was terrible – That evening she went through hell.His absence wasn’t a problemBut the corkscrew had gone as well.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

The best feeling in the world, is to be able to help someone else other than yourself.

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

God is a lot of things to a lot of people but I don’t think he is a cheap party host with limited grace to give out.

Anyone who limits her vision to memories of yesterday is already dead.

When I was first introduced to the music of Jacques Brel, I was totally floored. I had never heard anything as intelligent or sexy or angry as his music.

Sustainable growth is characterized by one simple rule: New customers come from the actions of past customers.

No man e'er felt the halter draw, With good opinion of the law.

The idea of vegetarianism is of immense value; it is based on great reverence for life.