Meredith Baxter Birney gets beaten by a rod, in the Lifetime Original, Rod.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

I am an atheist. I don't believe in Zeus.

When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'

We've endured too many tragedies. And each time I learn the news I react not as a President, but as anybody else would - as a parent.

My sexuality has never been a problem to me but I think it has been for other people.

I want another idea, another project, but you can't make them up. They show up.

Fans have a constitutional right to expect success and have high expectations.

Disparage no book, for it is also a part of the world.

Pure memory isn't based on recall but rather involuntary memory that's in your body and your nerves.

The greatest form of genius is that which isn’t noticed.

Who needs to walk on fire, when you can walk on water with this site.