Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman

I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag.

On the whole, I prefer not to be lectured on patriotism by those who keep offshore maildrops in order to avoid paying their taxes.

What we have here, fellow citizens, is a crassly egocentric, raving twit.

It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.

It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.

Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel -- it's vulgar.

If you ever get to the place where injustice doesn't bother you, you're dead.

One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.

I know: "Guns Don't Kill People." But I suspect that they have something to do with it. If you point your finger at someone and say, "Bang, bang, you're dead," not much actually happens.

How the American right managed to convince itself that the programs to alleviate poverty are responsible for the consequences of poverty will someday be studied as a notorious mass illusion.

Battle is gruesome, but it is vigorous, alive. The aftermath is the worst of it: adrenaline fades, quiet sweeps in, and there’s nothing to distract you from the mess of bodies and disturbed earth.

He once begged alms of a statue, and, when asked why he did so, replied, "To get practice in being refused."

The best speakers know enough to be scared…the only difference between the pros and the novices is that the pros have trained the butterflies to fly in formation.

Time is the best of critics; and patience the best of teachers.

There's no joy to be had seeing any black man, any black man taking a perp walk, let alone some of whom meant so much to us for so long.

I wanted to prove I was the best fighter in the world.

I’m a skeptic not because I do not want to believe, but because I want to know. How can we tell the difference between what we would like to be true and what is actually true? The answer is science.

They represent tomorrow's cigarette business. . . As this 14-24 age group matures, they will account for a key share of the total cigarette volume -- for at least the next 25 years.

One day I'm riding a bicycle in my neighborhood, the next day I auditioned for Menudo and was on a plane to perform in front of 200,000 people.

I think everyone should pursue their dreams. Whether you want to play football, act, sing, become a writer or whatever you have burning inside you as you’re growing up, you should pursue it.