Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

Hard work is a prison sentence only if it does not have meaning.

The Lord is our mighty shield.The Lord is our greet strength.

I didn't care about goals or expectations any more, I was just determined to race my heart out.

As my mother used to say: "Mimic a duck act calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like crazy underneath."

Kids are going to try drugs and alcohol that's part of society.

One thing you learn from surfing is how to operate in the present. It's really what the surfing experience is all about.

Being in the entertainment industry in L.A. is the equivalent to being in the publishing industry in New York. You don't ever have to hangout with anybody else.

I've been all over this big old world, hey looking for a ring-dang-do.

I don't really understand why when I'm not making music, I feel like I can't breathe.

It is essential that we provide the best possible care for our wounded and disabled veterans.