Michael Jordan was a tremendous basketball player.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

...to alienate human beings from their own decision-making is to change them into objects.

There is no study that is not capable of delighting us after a little application to it.

It seems to me that the problem with diaries, and the reason that most of them are so boring, is that every day we vacillate between examining our hangnails and speculating on cosmic order.

Prayer had always struck me as more or less a glorified attempt at a business transaction.

He who starts behind in the great race of life must forever remain behind or run faster than the man in front.

Over 100,000 people attend my shows each season and no one can say they haven't heard the Gospel.

We don't just change our minds, we change the way we see things. That's one reason I'm a better grandfather than I was a father.

The game of chess is the most fascinating and intellectual pastime which the wisdom of antiquity has bequeathed to us.

Believe me, it's always a lot harder on the guy getting fired.

Writing music obviously comes from being inspired by things, and big changes in your life, and relationships and growing older and being more independent.