[Michael] Moore doesn't really use his sense of humor that much.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it.

I urge you to read the Occupy Manifesto, written by the New York City General Assembly. It is unavoidably clear. This is not directionless action. If it were, the media would have moved on.

For those with drive, wit, vision, ego and a masochistic outlook, there is always room.

The euro area must not be treated as an "opt out" from the European Union.

My schedule has slowed a little. I've cut back on some of my assignments. But I still have the enthusiasm for the sports world that I had 38 years ago.

The great theatre for virtue is conscience.

I try to separate my personal life from swimming.

As the love of the heavens makes us heavenly, the love of virtue virtuous, so doth the love of the world make one become worldly.

There are two kinds of people in this world: Michael Jackson fans and losers.

I guess people expect or figure me to be a lot of different things.