Michelle Obama was asked when life begins. According to her it's when she and Barack take over the White House.

First there was racism. Then liberals created institutional racism and coded racism. You can only hear it with a dog whistle.

I am tired of angry feminists. I like my women happy, gregarious... and bathed.

Mitt Romney is a true Mormon. John Edwards and Bill Clinton are not real Mormons. It was not 'Brigham Young' they were chanting. It was 'Bring 'em young.

In order to eliminate discrimination, the Modern Liberal has opted to become utterly indiscriminate.

Barack Obama has raised tons of money. That is what he means by being green.

Stupidity is a luxury and you will find time and time and time and again that those who are overwhelmingly on the left are those who can afford to be.

Academics act like they are important, but when something is academic it is meaningless. People say, 'It's academic, now let's get work done.

My favorite drawings at the Muhammad cartoon festival in Texas were the two chalk outlines out front.

Jews don't care about ancient rivalries. We worry about humidity in Miami.

What Democrats call 'nuanced,' most people refer to as 'stupidity.'

A short while ago I foolishly thought I could learn everything - all the knowledge in the world. Now I hope only to be able to know of its existence, and to understand one grain of it.

If we can't alter the tide of events, at least we can be nearby with towels to mop up.

In China, you've got six people buying for one child. But the thing is, you've got the largest rising upper-middle class in the world.

apathy is about as near to the undertaker as you can get.

You have to talk to the stone, and it has to talk to you.

I will buy six pieces or so a day and just snack on them. Sometimes I wrap them up in my mini seaweed sheets.

I was never either pro-culture or counter-culture. I was in a kind of middle state.

A new breeze is blowing--and a nation refreshed by freedom stands ready to push on: there is new ground to be broken, and new action to be taken.

What good is success if you're not willing to share it?

The joke is the purest, most essential form of storytelling. Every word has to count.