Middle age is when your old classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

For me, a hearty "belly laugh" is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.

There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he's a college professor!

Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert's writing was hazy, Ep's statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.

Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

Christ Jesus is the power of God.

The riskiest thing we can do is just maintain the status quo.

Finally! You're here!"Uh....Do I know you?"Well, no....But you're here, all the same...

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.

The function of protecting and developing health must rank even above that of restoring it when it is impaired.

I usually sleep just a few hours a night.

Facebook in particular is the most appalling spying machine that has ever been invented.

I want to be someone who is known for portraying themselves honestly. I try to avoid aggrandizing things I've done.

Tomorrow, I will take on all of these things. I will be unstoppable.

Don't tell me about your effort. Show me your results