Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

When God is not in the first place in our lives, everything else loses its meaning.

In this life, you have winners and losers. the more you win, the higher you go.

The abolition of the class struggle does not mean the abolition of the need to struggle as a principle of development.

Anything a man can do, I can fix.

Karate-do begins with courtesy and ends with rei.

Your garden will reveal yourself.

Ya gotta live somewhere, but also you GET to live somewhere.

A lot of people are writing poems and don't realize it. They have this limited idea of how the poem should sound or what subjects it should address.

All good ideas start out as bad ideas, that's why it takes so long.

Even luxuries are arranged according to ideas and ideals, to make them reflect as much of thought-life as possible - and this is Art.