Misery, thy name is Mudslide

Does Hallmark make a “Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner” card? I settled for “How much do you remember?

My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa.

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out?

Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students.

Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD.

I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked.

Idiot, " I said, before grinning broadly and crushing his mouth to mine. "We need to pick new pet names for each other, " he muttered as I hefted myself up from the ground.

She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines around your mouth...Look, there they are.

Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs.""I was curious!

Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.

She needed to come with an instructional manual. And one not written in Spanish.

Though you might conquer in battle A thousand times a thousand men, You're the greatest battle-winner If you conquer just one - yourself.

The important thing is not what they think of me it is what I think of them.

I live in a house that's incredibly old, and it's typical that part of it is slightly in the ground. It's very earthed. It's almost like living in a hobbit house.

On the essentials, unity. On the nonessentials, liberty. In everything, charity.

You've got to respond to that and of course thinking through the role of a left party in the modern world, in the modern economy and society and having a policy response to that.

God has, in fact, thought of us from eternity and has loved us as unique individuals. He has called every one of us by name, as the Good Shepherd 'calls His sheep by name.'

Whatever you put aside to seek happiness, remember where you put it.

Humor is all about timing.

I never earned a dollar that was not somehow through writing.