Mitt Romney has asked Todd Akin to step down. That's too bad. Todd Akin was the guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

there comes a timewhen you have to let goall the wordsall the teachingand trust the infinite

Sylvia Plath and I met a long time ago. A really long time ago. Was it a summer day? No! It was a wintry November morning!

I think I'm going through a bit of ADD. I'm reading 3 books simultaneously and it's something that I don't recommend. It's like watching TV with two others who keep changing the channels...

Even though we know we have to let you go, our hearts are singing the song no- no- no. We can’t let you go.

Do not cut lose from your longings - for what are we without our longings?

We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

I'm still the same. That's why the fans love me. Because they need stability in the industry.

I own no enemy on earth. That is my creed.

It doesn't hurt me unless I interpret its happening as harmful to me. I can choose not to.

The note of hallelujah must never be in short supply in the spirit of the believer.