Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

This seems to have been St. Augustine's very notion of "memory, " not just nostalgia for some past moment, but connecting past, present, and future in one complete contemplative knowing.

Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want a fan club? You are right. I loved the movie, and you were perfect in it, you were absolutely amazing. Definitely Oscar material.

Who bides his time tastes the sweet Of honey in the saltiest tear And though he fares with slowest feet Joy runs to meet him drawing near.

To the press alone, chequered as it is with abuses, the world is indebted for all the triumphs which have been gained by reason and humanity over error and oppression.

My stories do have plot. They're not just scattered language; they're controlled, toward an end.

My mother was always encouraging about my wanting to be an artist.

I get tired of playing a guy who gets into a fight, then starts singing to the guy he's just beat up.

How many of us want any of us to see us as we really are?

You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sentence, what it does... it's illegal.

I don't think rap really fits in to 'American Idol' in the sense that I believe rap is an art form in itself more akin to poetry, more akin to drama, if you will.