Modest about our national pride - and inordinately proud of our national modesty.

I do have a residual belief that, if at all possible, you should try not to mock the weak.

In Britian we have a free press. It's not a pretty press, but it's free. The people who can't bear the Daily Mail, they say: 'you should ban it'. No, no, no, no, you don't ban it... you don't buy it.

I've seen the Pokémon movie, which is probably the worst movie ever made on any subject ever.

All the libel lawyers will tell you there's no libel any more, that everyone's given up.

I get paid to do what I enjoy, not that common a condition.

There's an awful lot of terrible television which I could do, but I mostly stick to Have I Got News for You.

The best comedy is where you attack the strong, not the weak.

You have a huge amount of confidence when you're younger, which slowly ebbs away for the rest of your life. You think: 'No problem. I can do that. Why shouldn't I do it?'

I've got a very peculiar sort of fame, based on being on the telly. It doesn't mean you have the lifestyle people expect.

My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty.

And yet, despite this portrait of a self assured woman, Cindy seemed to have a near obsession with being where everyone was and doing what everyone was doing.

Writing is life – it’s where my heart leads me each day, and how I understand the world we live in.

Parting is all we know of Heaven, and all we need of Hell.

A lot of the questions that anyone would naturally have about their family, you'll get much of the answers for, or at least hints to where it will go, in the future.

Your tail, is becoming too heavy to wag.

I can't laugh, be happy, present myself at any prize and also win on the centre court.

We are not by nature cruel.

Expectations have a way of being fulfilled.

Round numbers beg to be negotiated, usually by counteroffer round numbers. Odd numbers sound harder, firmer, less negotiable.

A fleet of the most powerful vessels would be of little use in war without a personnel at least as efficient as that of our possible enemies.