Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

You must immerse yourself in your work. You have to fall in love with your work … You must dedicate your life to mastering your skill. That’s the secret of success.

...Yes... I am perfect. A perfect 'impostor'. B-ko

Too many people want to have one foot in the world and one foot in the kingdom of God, and it is like straddling a fence. You are not happy either way. Declare yourself for Christ.

Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

Now that we are cool, he said, and regret that we hurt each other, I am not sorry that it happened.

It seems every morning I wake up to face a list of 20 things to do, with time only to do 10, and somehow I always wind up squishing in 30.

Nobody wants a political prisoner, but a political emigrant is no problem.

Users spend most of their time on other sites. This means that users prefer your site to work the same way as all the other sites they already know.

It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of. What they don't want.

I wish every Republican wanted to impeach [Jeorge W.] Bush , but people don't agree with this. He's stating a fact about what he believes.