Mondays are just like Sam from Clarissa Explains it All. They just show up through the damn window whenever the hell they feel like it.

When you have parents who are a little out of their minds, somebody has to take responsibility.

Being a family in general is a comedy of errors.

[Raising Hope] is a weird show about weird little humans who love each other.

I know Roomba is a vacuum... But, whenever it's mentioned, my instinct is to be excited about a new fun party game involving rhythm and friends!

I will tell you the secret to getting rich on Wall Street. You try to be greedy when others are fearful. And you try to be fearful when others are greedy.

Success not maintained is worst than Poverty inheritted. Riches without maintenance is worst than inheritted Poverty.

This rock thing got in the way of my teaching career.

There's no such thing as bad weather, just soft people.

Women have, commonly, a very positive moral sense; that which they will, is right; that which they reject, is wrong; and their will, in most cases, ends by settling the moral.

Life is always fatal. No one gets out of it alive

We dare not trust our wit for making our house pleasant to our friend, so we buy ice cream.

If you ever can bring about revolutionary changes, two things would be required: young people would have to be involved and you would need music.

Knowledge is a beautiful thing, but there are a few things I wish I didn't know.

You must not pursue a success, but fly from it.