Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty.

The first printed mention of bagels... is to be found in the Community Regulations of Kracow, Poland, for the year 1610 which stated that bagels would be given as a gift to any woman in childbirth.

We see things as we are, not as they are.

I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.

What's green, hangs on a wall and whistles? [A Herring]

The purpose of life is to matter, to be productive, to have it make a difference that you lived at all-using the talents that God has given you for the betterment of others.

The purpose of life is not to be happy, the purpose of life is to matter.

I sometimes think there is a dimension beyond the four of experience and Einstein: insight, that fifth dimension which promises to liberate us from bondage to the long, imperfect past

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.

If at first you don't succeed, before you try again, stop to figure out what you did wrong.

Courage is the capacity to confront what can be imagined.

The people that truly love us in life don't fight for us to remain a doormat for others.

Courage to dare, Strength to act.

Death's gruesome face taunts:soulless eyes, crimson grimace.I really hate clowns.

The tender sentiment of the 'one and only' has less to do with constancy of heart than with singleness of opportunity.

I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.

When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent - no jokes in it for the parents!

And my little sister Chrissy, for teaching me that life is nothing if you're not obsessed.

I seldom remember my father, but I sneeze and rub my nose the way he did. I also love my son with grief and anger, as he did.

Banks' beer. There's nothing like it! To Brazil. And to Barbados justice.

Redeem the time. Redeem the unread vision of a higher dream.