Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Life is given to be invested in multiplying

Our judgements about things vary according to the time left us to live -that we think is left us to live.

The only thing equal to the enormity of his want was his regret.

Good luck is what is left over after intelligence and effort have combined at their best. Luck is the residue of design.

And then simultaneously I don't think they're asking you to necessarily write in stone that this is what you're going to do or what you have to do.

I look at someone's face and I see the work before I see the person. I personally don't think people look better when they do it; they just look different.

Viva Italia! Goodbye to all poor peoples everywhere! ... Pusha da button!

You evah hear of a magic screw?' I cough back a laugh. 'No. No, sir.

You get a role like this in a big action movie [like Jack Reacher] and you can go one of two ways: you can paint in broad strokes, which happens a lot in action films, or you can get very detailed.

Fear is the emotion that makes us blind.