Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

If you see this guy drowning, do not stop him, it might be Peter trying to walk on water reaching Christ.

Life can be very hard sometimes and you wonder why, but a little compassion is sometimes all anyone needs to get by.

I found out very early that the more you want to hold people the more they want to be free.

We know that dictators are quick to choose aggression, while free nations strive to resolve differences in peace.

I'm a huge fan of David Hockney. I love the way he keeps reinventing himself.

I couldn't walk down any street in Britain without being laughed at. It was a nightmare. My children were devastated because their dad was a figure of ridicule.

All German women are beautiful. It's not for nothing that we talk of the German "Fräuleinwunder." You don't get this word in any other language.

You were perfect.” Cam dipped his mouth to mine. “Only because I was with you.

We've been around long enough and have been to enough award shows to know that it is easy to lose to Phil Collins at any time.

All hopes are lies, all expectations of the future are lies.