Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.

A lot of people here some South in your mouth, and they automatically think you're dumb. They think if you talk funny, you are funny. – Lloyd Hand

How often you impress people when you have nothing and how often you oppress them when you have everything is what defines your real character!

the problem at this point is that there is a problem.

We need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven. The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection.

We want to raise a generation of kids who have a mouse in one hand and a book in the other.

It is the life of the crystal, the architect of the flake, the fire of the frost, the soul of the sunbeam. This crisp winter air is full of it.

Druid log July 15: Dark elves are not only quick and efficient killers, but creative and pyrotechnically inclined ones.

We are so busy constantly checking our own temperatures, we fail to notice the burning fevers of others.

I don't have any love for this business or the game or for acting. This is my day job.

I live one day at a time, one day at a time. Yesterday's gone and tomorrow is blind, so I live one day at a time.