Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 % of them are wrong.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Sometimes life is too hard to be alone, and sometimes life is too good to be alone.

The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever.

Those who always have a sense of appreciation and gratitude never reach an impasse in life.

Men are never so good or so bad as their opinions.

The organization of ofices follows the principle of hierarchy ... each lower office is under the control and supervision of a higher one

To him who has nothing it is forbidden not to relish filth.

One day I will have to forgive life for ending, I tell myself. I will have to learn how to let life be life with its unbearable finality ... just be what it is.

Far in foreign fields from Dunkirk to Belgrade Lie the soldiers and chiefs of the Irish Brigade.

Growth is the goal, and that goal is never complete—art must be in constant change.

The wind, a sightless laborer, whistles at his task.