Mosquito bites Jesus, receives communion.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Stimulated by the juice, I believe, men have even been known to ride alligators.

Face it―nobody cares.But so what? Their apathy doesn't diminish your worth. Learn from it. Make it your job to care for those around you so that they don't feel like nobody cares.

The best music is essentially there to provide you something to face the world with.

It's pretty easy to see that... wealth doesn't really equal happiness.

I never use someone just because they are great musicians. I work with people who have the same kind of feeling towards the music that I do, and the subject that I'm speaking of at that time.

For after all, a poster does more than simply supply information on the goods it advertises; it also reveals a society’s state of mind

We all agree that marriage is a fundamental right. And in our country, and in our society, there are no second-class citizens.

I've always given a lot of advice, whether I'm asked for it or not.

One can always learn from others. The Champion's Mind holds a wealth of insight as to how you can become a winner in your everyday life.

I was technically a Valley Girl, even though I absolutely dreaded being called that. I really hated the idea that I was a Valley Girl