Most importantly: Don't adjust your results to build up the ego of the chief strategist. Especially if the strategist is you.

True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.

Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of trick and duplicity himself, than straight forward and simple integrity in another.

The soundest argument will produce no more conviction in an empty head than the most superficial declamation; as a feather and a guinea fall with equal velocity in a vacuum.

The art of declamation has been sinking in value from the moment that speakers were foolish enough to publish, and hearers wise enough to read.

None are so fond of secrets as those who do not mean to keep them; such persons covet secrets as a spendthrift covets money, for the purpose of circulation.

Much may be done in those little shreds and patches of time which every day produces, and which most men throw away.

Let those who would affect singularity with success first determine to be very virtuous, and they will be sure to be very singular.

Atheism is a system which can communicate neither warmth nor illumination, except from those fagots which your mistaken zeal has lighted up for its destruction.

Deliberate with caution, but act with decision and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness.

The study of mathematics, like the Nile, begins in minuteness but ends in magnificence.

Yeah, 'cause you're just another vehicle goin' by and by.

Mothers tend toward right on most things.

What is a good advertisement? An advertisement which pleases you because of its style, or an advertisement which sells the most? They are seldom the same.

A man walked into a shop and asked, "How much are your eggs?" He said "£1.40 a dozen". He then asked: "How much are your cracked ones?" He said: "35p". He said: "Crack us four dozen."

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Getting picked gives you half that confidence, or 50 per cent of it

If you stay in one place, you can only rap about one thing because that's all you know.

I'm having a ball. I just walk in, make some funnies and walk out, no pressure.

... and she loved a boy very, very much-- even more than she loved herself.

Making a film that's supposed to be fun to watch is really hard - that's the weird irony of it.