Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair.

Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.

A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.

Specificity is the soul of narrative.

I am not beautiful, so I don't know why I'm making myself ugly. But the mustache stays.

All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports.

I actually own a copy of my own book; that's how dedicated I am as an author.

There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.

My career as a magazine writer was largely prefaced on the idea of curiosity, to go on adventures and weasel my way into the lives of people that I admire.

A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman); while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.

The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.

You should always listen to minotaurs. Anybody with four stomachs has to have a firm grip on reality.

The United States has a huge budget deficit so taxes are going to have to go up and I certainly agree they should go up more on the rich than everyone else. That - that's just justice.

Corporations have at different times been so far unable to distinguish freedom of speech from freedom of lying that their freedom has to be curbed.

In a world where people are equal, I feel it's important to have strong male characters, counterparts. Equality is important. It's about compatibility and compassion. And it's amazing.

True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity.

In theory, I work an eight-hour day and a five-day week which means I can socialise with my pals who mostly have normal jobs like teaching and computer programming.

The Declaration of Independence laid the cornerstone of human government upon the first precepts of Christianity.

When we go in the ring we know we're going to get hit. We know we're not the ballet people. But if you go in there and have doubt in your mind that you're afraid to get hit, forget it.

Only humans are judgmental, and because you are, you assume that I must be. Yet I am not, and that is the great truth you cannot accept.

I've never cackled with laughter at a single line I've ever written. None of it has given me pleasure.