Most people when they have autobiographies, they're not autobiographies, they're biographies written by a ghost writer.

But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can learn ventriloquism.

When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.

As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark.

A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Everybody has their favorite character.That's the only way I pick, whatever is going on in society, whatever I think folks will laugh at that's what I come up with.

I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.

I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'

I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.

This autumn-why am I growing old?bird disappearing among clouds.

I know that having the perfect body doesn't fix all your problems, or make you love yourself more. To me, it's all about being comfortable in your own skin.

I grew up around hip-hop so I didn't think it was about being cool or being black or being white or whatever.

When you talk about the problem of illegal immigration, people are angry and polarized. When you talk about the answers, the debate gets a little different.

The best thing that happened is I kept my promises. I ain't run out on nobody.

Toleration is often just indifference in disguise.

I know what I say; I understand my mission and business. God Almighty is my shield; and what can man do if God is my friend?

If growing up is painful for the Southern Black girl, being aware of her displacement is the rust on the razor that threatens the throat. It is an unnecessary insult.

I'm trying to understand my life. The one that I've experienced.

Every word or concept, clear as it may seem to be, has only a limited range of applicability.