Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

When the Church tries to embody the rule of God in the forms of earthly power it may achieve that power, but it is no longer a sign of the kingdom.

Jesus Christ, the Saviour is my Shepherd.

Authentic leadership is leading adaptively from your core, choosing who you’re most inspired to be to serve the greatest good in this moment.

very bright teeth as big and orderly as piano keys.

Active learning is always involved with interaction between teachers and students and Socratic methods and that's gonna continue.

I'm far more relaxed with German. I'm a control freak. I like to know exactly who's saying and doing what.

I feel good with who I am and what I made of myself.

Fasting blinds the body in order to open the eyes of your soul.

An Airedale can do anything any other dog can do and then whip the other dog if he has to.

The movie is more real in so many ways than the life I am leading. No, that’s not true. I just desperately wish this was only a movie.