Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

There was nothing the ignorant prized more than the ignorance of others.

If it's possible to send a message from heaven, I'll get one to you.

A patriot is a fool in ev'ry age.

Motherhood to me is something that I always wanted, but never quite knew how it was going to happen.

My family's great and everybody's happy and healthy and my career is good. But personally, I had to sacrifice a lot in my own personal life. And I regret that.

My imagination is more tweaked by imagining the lives of the people who were there before us. I don't need to give myself the willies. I'm quite good at that - I can freak myself out wherever I am.

Funny how mishearing things-or not hearing them at all-can really screw things up

To me the purpose of art is to produce something alive...but with a separate, and of course one hopes, with an everlasting life of its own.

I've been loving music all my life.

I didn't have anybody, really, no foundation in life, so I had to make my own way. Always, from the start. I had to go out in the world and become strong, to discover my mission in life.