Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Accepting that the odds are against you is the same as accepting defeat before you begin.

When I go back to the stage, I want to be able to do everything. I want to be able to do music and comedy and all that stuff and have a show like nobody ever had before.

Alaska is our biggest, buggiest, boggiest state. Texas remains our largest unfrozen state. But mountainous Utah, if ironed out flat, would take up more space on a map than either.

The cosmetics industry has much to answer for. It's a multi-million- pound confidence trick based on giving women endless hope, courtesy of overpriced little pots.

Political action is the highest responsibility of a citizen.

I've found a more personal, pagan kind of religion to satisfy the spiritual side of things.

Loneliness, insomnia, and change: the fear of these is even worse than the reality.

I wouldn't go down the route of having an assistant. I don't want to be like that. I want to be normal.

I really get motivated when I have doubters.

The enlightened attention rejects nothing nor welcomes anything-like a mirror it responds equally to all.