Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

What we believe about something often creates the outcome we experience.

I see the whole concept of Generation X implies that everyone has lost hope.

We have two useless gods who never leave our island, but like to dwell in it constantly, Poverty and Helplessness.

Leisure and the cultivation of human capacities are inextricably interdependent.

I wasn't made to take orders. My grandmother used to tell me: 'Laws are for idiots.' She was right.

I love hidden things. When you buy something with quality, you like the inside to be as beautiful as the outside. Nobody's going to see it, but you know it's there.

All genuine learning is active, not passive.

And while the U.S. can never be 100 percent safe from a future strike, our government is working around the clock on measures to protect the American people.

Man is man so long as he is struggling to rise above nature, and this nature is both internal and external.

Farewell, good Salisbury, and good luck go with thee!