Mostly I sit at home in the evenings watching the box and hoping that one day I'll evolve into plankton.

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot, sunny day. It's never really caught on in the UK, probably because the last time we had a hot, sunny day was back in 1957.

Lawyers are predators in grey worsted

New technology is useful, but it's inefficient and ugly; it knows it'll be obsolete by lunchtime tomorrow, so it has no incentive to be anything else

In spite of really intense competition for the job, I'm still my own worst enemy.

It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl and once by a dying badger.

After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something gives?

Human beings can get used to virtually anything, given plenty of time and no choice in the matter whatsoever.

There’s nothing bad about reincarnation per se, it’s basically a very good system, cost-effective and ecologically friendly.

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.

The paths carved by the divine carpenter into her palms are actually treasure maps showing the way to heaven.

What does good in bed mean to me? When I'm sick and I stay home from school propped up with lots of pillows watching TV and my mom brings me soup - that's good in bed.

A lot of actors don't like to see how they've done every day.

I feel weird if I can't move my face, and that one time I overdid it, I felt trapped in my own skin.

Loving the world destroys our relationship with God, it denies our faith in God, and it discounts our future with God.

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos.

a sick room is at times too sacred a place for a friend's knock, timid as that is.

Some of my favorite music is incredibly repetitive, or on the surface has an element of repetition. But once you go beneath the surface, you realize in the repetition is constant variation.

I was a real skateboarder, not a gifted skateboarder. I represented that skateboarding was fun to do by being terrible at it.

Silence and modesty are very valuable qualities in conversation.