Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the "patty" group, which includes hamburgers, fish sticks, and McNuggets- foods that have had all of their organs safely removed.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Your music sounds better on the radio, for some reason. It's an amazing feeling. I hope it never goes away.

Flesh could not keep its glamour, nor eyes their sheen. They would go to nothing soon. But monsters are forever.

When you have a different name, people just kind of take the liberty to spell it how they want.

There is a natural disposition with us to judge an author's personal character by the character of his works. We find it difficult to understand the common antithesis of a good writer and a bad man.

It's not what I expected," he said. "They're far more organized than our intelligence had led us to believe.

I've enjoyed the pleasures of working since I was 12 and earned all my own spending money since I was 14.

I think about more than I forget, but I don't go around fire expecting not to sweat.

What do we expect from criticism? People appear to want it, but why?

Speaking of prostitutes, big oil's top call girl Sen Inhofe wants to kill fuel economy backed by automakers, small biz, enviros, & consumers.

I think the love scenes are very powerful and they're not trying to simply show the bodies of the actors but trying to reflect the inner feelings of the character so it's easier in that way.