Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

There's no reality except the one contained within us. That's why so many people live an unreal life. They take images outside them for reality and never allow the world within them to assert itself.

Your pride for your country should not come after your country becomes great

Life was a damned muddle - a football game with everyone offside and the referee gotten rid of - everyone claiming the referee would have been on his side.

The universe is made up of vibrating, pulsing light. When our attention level drops, we don't see that. Instead we see what appears to be a solid material world.

Alexia abhorred hypocrisy, especially when munitions were involved.

Donald Trump'd rather believe Vladimir Putin than the military and civilian intelligence professionals who are sworn to protect us.

I want you. Bad. Right now. Against the wall. On my bed. The floor and maybe in the bathroom later. I have a shower stall and a Jacuzzi we could put to really good use. I know you'd like it.

Success is overcoming obstacles on the way to your dreams.

Artists themselves are neurotic and fearful people, and you can look at their work and figure out what they're scared of.

My inspiration is coming more and more from the way I feel and the gratitude I feel. The older you get the more humility you have.