Motor racing's less of a sport these days than a commercial break doing 150 mph.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

...but now, driving past the billboard I realized that losing everything is death. A death that I crave and I don't want anyone to save me

Whenever we have opportunity to serve, we must serve with all our heart.

I would say I'm a boss who's learning, and I hope people have the patience for the fact that I'm learning along the way because that's a tough thing.

Much effort, much prosperity.

Worry, doubt, fear and despair are the enemies which slowly bring us down to the ground and turn us to dust before we die.

Ask Osama bin Laden is he is better off now than he was four years ago.

The Democratic party is really just a giant day care center for squabbling little groups.

Art, because it's so easy to do, and yet so difficult to do well, encourages humility in the human soul.

I'm the reason Hulk Hogan lost his hair.

First I made a dress because I was pregnant and I wanted to be the most beautiful pregnant woman. Then I made a sweater because I wanted to have one that wasn't like anyone else's.