My Vegas act is how I make my money.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Smiley tears and teary smiles are priceless.

Being lonely and loving your own company are two very different things. Don't ever get them mixed up.

People do change. And no matter how close we once were, and how much we opened up to each other, maybe neither of us know anything substantial about the other.

Maybe that's what love is—sacrificing yourself to save another, taking the insult or taking the hit.

We are humans, they say we are mortals. Though we do live once but can last forever.

I think my biggest advice to filmmakers is to look into the many digital platforms that exist for you and your team to distribute your film.

If you take control of your behavior, your emotions will fall into place.

Are anybody's parents typical?

I have seen my Lord with the eye of my heart, and I said: 'Who are You?' He said: 'You.'

If I am the devil's child, I will live then, by the devil.