My ability to keep cool in a crisis is based entirely on not knowing all the facts.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

But if you have big ideas you have to use big words to express them, haven't you?

Time is running faster than watch.Life is running faster than Time.We are running faster than Life.In this race, relations are being left behind

Don’t make me climb across this desk and slap you, because I will.

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.

We must stop talking about the American dream and start listening to the dreams of Americans.

It used to be said that Pluto is a misfit. But now we know Earth is the misfit. This is the most populous class of planet in our solar system and we have never sent a mission to this class.

The church is under orders. Evangelistic inactivity is disobedience.

Today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness.

A ballot is like a bullet. You don't throw your ballots until you see a target, and if that target is not within your reach, keep your ballot in your pocket.

And she is your holy Mary. And I am so ordinary.