My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

When you live next to death ... you don't think about it anymore, you just try to encounter it as seldom as possible.

If you already know what recursion is, just remember the answer. Otherwise, find someone who is standing closer to Douglas Hofstadter than you are; then ask him or her what recursion is.

The dominant characteristic of an authentic spiritual life is the gratitude that flows from trust

There is probably no hell for authors in the next world - they suffer so much from critics and publishers in this.

They preach that I should save the world. They pray that I won't do a better job of it.

Only after people express their anger and sadness over the broken dreams of material prosperity will they turn to the task of building a sustainable economy.

There is no object on earth which cannot be looked at from a cosmic point of view.

What I refuse to face within myself will meet me in the exterior world through you, not as you are, but as I have so construed you.

Nothing has changed the nature of man so much as the loss of silence.

I will not resign because my resignation will not resolve anything.