My background is in musical comedy.

I became very critical of zoos and circuses and keeping animals in captivity. I wish it was against the law.

I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.

I'm better off not socializing. I make a better impression if I'm not around.

At its best, life is completely unpredictable.

There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary.

No, improvising is wonderful. But, the thing is that you cannot improvise unless you know exactly what you're doing.

I try not to worry about things I can't do anything about.

We have no way of knowing what lays ahead for us in the future. All we can do is use the information at hand to make the best decision possible.

I play so many villains and strange, troubled people. I don't have that kind of life. I live in the country. I've been married nearly 50 years. I have a cat.

My father was a lesson. He had his own bakery, and it was closed one day a week, but he would go anyway. He did it because he really loved his bakery. It wasn't a job.

Jesus, Jess, it would be nice if you stayed out of life-and-death scenarios for five minutes.

The dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters' table.

Our enemies come nearer the truth in the opinions they form of us than we do in our opinion of ourselves.

Every desire of your body is holy; Every desire of your body is Holy.

Don't get to the end of your life and realize you have never lived.

By leveraging their freedom from the bonds of location, corporations could now dictate the economic policy of governments.

But whats the use of being old if you cant be dumb?

We deserve punishment and get forgiveness; we deserve God’s wrath and get God’s love.

To accuse another of having weak kidneys, lungs, or heart, is not a crime; on the contrary, saying he has a weak brain is a crime.

Most magazines have that look of being predestined to be left which one sees on the faces of the women whose troubles bring them to the Law Courts.