My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

kisses... areand always will be the only language that I will have ever truly known.

That is certainly one way to look at the matter. There are others.

Consciousness even in my sleep changes primary colors. The features of my face melt like a wax doll in the fire. And who can consent to see in the mirror the mere face of man?

I just didn’t spend enough time with my job.

Being a celebrity at a very high level is a good thing.

There are no circumstances imaginable, not even victory, under which the proletariat should give up its possession of arms.

I think every film is somehow a political film. You show a perspective and a world that has logic, and that logic is inserted into a political environment, and it means something. Yes, why not?

I loved the hood and still love the hood but I had to realize like Ra you a rapper now you're in the public eye.

To truly know the world, look deeply within your own being; to truly know yourself, take real interest in the world.

The driving force for the Arabs is hatred of Israel. Hatred of the Jewish people.