My buddies, we've always just tried to make each other laugh. I mean, just like all friends hanging out - that's the goal.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

There is always a way forward if the responsible parties are willing to act.

In pale moonlight / the wisteria's scent / comes from far away.

You only need four words to spell the greatest word in the universe: L.O.V.E.

I like the brooding man - a brooding man with a sense of humor.

You may make something you don't think is very important during your lifetime and it'll last for a thousand years.

It is the invariable lesson to humanity that distance in time, and in space as well, lends focus. It is not recorded, incidentally, that the lesson has ever been permanently learned.

Pick clothes that you really love. And wear them. And don't make anything "special." If it's being held for something "special," wear it to the market. Wear it every day!

If you realize too acutely how valuable time is, you are too paralyzed to do anything.

Do not think that you can fight corruption without while you let corruption fester within.

Sir, there is no Christian nation, thus free to choose as we are, which would establish slavery.