My career has been a slow burn, so waiting to do the Edinburgh Festival was a smart move. If I'd spent a month there 10-15 years ago, there's no way anyone was gonna remember me.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.

Because we are of God each one of us has the potential to be a victor

There is no road to wealth so easy and respectable as that of matrimony.

On the music side, I'm a cross between maybe that Texas songwriter and that Tom Petty feel.

[Barack Obama] needs to really engage both Republicans and Democrats.

He’s a war mage. They’re almost impossible to kill.” He scowled. “Even on purpose.

It is my aspiration that health finally will be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for.

It is never a mistake to say good-bye.

A writer's brain is like a magician's hat. If you're going to get anything out of it, you have to put something in it first.

Wherever there is peace lacking, try to create it and put it there!

'Rocky' represents the optimistic side of life, and 'Rambo' represents purgatory.