My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he's charging me for finding it.

Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. And that's why I put Don in several of my movies.

I figure you're only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I've always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog.

The reason 'The Carol Burnett Show' did so well in the ratings is because people were looking for that comfort zone when the whole family sat around and watched television and enjoyed it.

What gets projects done for me is not inspiration. It's curiosity and rigor.

Twitter... 140 character limit... must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers.

We live in a modern world, and in contemporary music the central fact is contamination. Not the contamination of disease but the contamination of musical styles. If you find this in me, that is good.

Yes, forget your weakness, whatever that weakness may be. It is egotism, it is selfishness after. all, for it is a dwelling on self. Forget your weakness; and remember your strength.

You lose the world for a glance? Of course you do. That is what the world is for: to lose under the right circunstances.

The things that caused problems for me in school are the same things that help me succeed in the world.

Successful innovations become conventions.

When you have a run of games where you keep winning and winning, you know it must end.

Anything you dream is fiction, and anything you accomplish is science, the whole history of mankind is nothing but science fiction.

My mother gave me a sense of independence, a sense of total confidence that we could do whatever it was we set out to do. That's how we were raised