My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

The most expensive jewels are not found around our necks, but in our hearts.

I can write three hundred and sixty-five grateful thanks. Cultivate the habit to write gratitude daily.

To a leader, reputation is an option, but true character is a necessity!

She was told it was magnetism that kept them engaged, and how do you separate magnets? You force them apart.

Leadership is... to make sure you never limit the idea or opportunity.

English football has just had a transfer window imposed for the first time, so it will be interesting to see how managers cope with the squads they have until it re-opens.

I guess, as an Emanuel, I have a voice that carries.

A family is a tyranny ruled over by it's weakest member.

You can compare me with Greta Garbo. I have big feet, too.

I was so shy. Instead of waiting in line with other kids at lunch, I'd go to a corner and buy a pretzel and orange juice. I think I had that for lunch the first three years of high school.