My dad used to say 'Always fight fire with fire,' which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade.

I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.

It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.

You might heckle me now - but when I get home, I've got a chicken in the oven.

You can tell a lot about someone's personality if you know his star sign -Jesus, born on 25 December, fed the five thousand, walked on water -typical Capricorn.

I went to a restaurant the other day called 'Taste of the Raj.' The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system.

The mobile phone, the fax, emails. Call me old fashioned, but what's wrong with a chain of beacons?

I have a really nice step ladder, sadly, I never knew my real ladder.

never say never. whoops - said it twice

The moment after being let go, when we can finally let it go, is the moment when love once again has hope.

It was once necessary to go from somebody to nothing to become everything.

There's truths you have to grow into.

I am glad to see the wheels are moving at last toward comprehensive immigration reform after last year's election. I am glad that immigrants are speaking up.

Every passing year brings us more past futures.

I've always believed the lies we use to make our fictions reveal the truth with far more honesty than any history or herstory or life story.

The Queen is usually reckoned equal, in average situations, to two Rooks and a Pawn, but towards the end of a game she is hardly so valuable as two Rooks.

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

I hate the idea of success robbing you of your private life.

That's what teaching is, the art of explanation: presenting the right information in the right order in a memorable way.