My dad was very much a John Wayne kind of guy, but he was also a great guy, great sense of humor, a real dedicated dad. I don't think he ever missed a hockey game I was in.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

How can you fly? I mean you have wings. Feathers. Did you know you have wings?

Nanny's words made Janie's kiss across the gatepost seem like a manure pile after a rain

I was a film-directing major at NYU. I'm still not sure why I became a directing major, when I was really an actor and a comedian, but there was something that drew me to doing that.

I will proudly promote our system of government and our way of life as the best in the world, just like we did in our campaign against communism during the Cold War.

I feel my body weakening but my spirit is fine, ready to go to war with devils at the drop of a dime

It's time to find out what the truth really is that's out there.

If you don't have any shadows, you're not standing in the light.

There is a time in every man's life when he looks to his God, when he looks at his life, when he wonders how he will be remembered.

Being a parent, I'm acutely aware of how hard it is to get good childcare.

Be yourself. That's it. I got about 45 [billionaires] . They are all different, all unique, and they are all self-made.