My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.

If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it.

We're all real people with moments of intense honesty and pathos and humanity. We all experience that, whether you're comedic or not.

You say you're going to be the pope, become the pope.

Don't say you're going to stop eating red meat when you like red meat.

If you surround me with darkness, suddenly, I am "somewhat fun."

Everybody needs some good sketch comedy.

We don't feel constrained by what we did in the past.

The world needs less destruction.

The laugh is what trumps everything.

You shouldn't eat red meat, but you shouldn't make resolutions you can't keep.

When people ask me what it is that I want to achieve in life, I always tell them that I want to be able to make positive change in spite of all the issues that the world faces today.

And as I venture into anothers pit of everlasting darkness, I'll return with a simple blackened rose. and with that rose I shall write the stories it tells.

The difference between God an I is that everyday, I too deal with people who don't love but I have no desire to kill them or wish them to suffer for all of eternity for it

I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.

Nonviolent tactics can move into action on our behalf men not naturally inclined to act for us.

... Kindness, sweetest of the small notes in the world's ache, most modest & gentle of the elements entered man before history and became his daily connection, let no man tell you otherwise.

War is an act of violence pushed to its utmost bounds.

Beautiful? It's all a question of luck. I was born with good legs. As for the rest... beautiful, no. Amusing, yes.

You may have a cat in the room with you without anxiety about anything except eatables. The presence of a cat is positively soothing to a student.

With the half of a broken hope for a pillow at night That somehow the right is the right And the smooth shall bloom from the rough: Lord, if that were enough?